Helping people is a good thing, right? We are being taught early in life that you answer “yes, of course” when somebody, anybody, asks for your help nicely. As we get older, wiser, more experienced, it seems only natural that we will be asked for help more often. It can be flattering to find your advice highly sought after. Research shows, however, that both parties in this situation – the helper, and the one being helped – may suffer negative consequences of too much help. I recently experienced this, again, and had to remind myself to say “no”, at least sometimes.

It started as an innocent message from a stranger in a public forum – just a quick question about a little detail of my life that I had shared. I replied, being the well-behaved, educated person I have been taught to be. Big mistake! Could I please answer some more in-depth questions, preferrably via email? Sure – why not, one email doesn’t cost me that much time. It didn’t stop at one email, though. The messages became longer, repeating questions that I had already answered. Would I please attach sample documents to explain what I meant? Oh, and I sent you a “friend request” on Facebook, because I really like you – we have never met in person, mind you.

So, after several months, I find myself researching information on the internet, collecting documentation about my findings, answering highly technical questions with longer and longer emails and messages. It’s starting to feel like a job – except I’m not being paid, or otherwise rewarded. I realized, that I had inadvertently created a dependency. This random stranger stopped doing their own research, learning for themselves. Instead they relied on the newly found “two-legged dictionary” that I had become for them.

No – this stops here! I realize that my experience and detailed knowledge could help others in a similar situation, and I am willing to share – but not to the point where it becomes a job. Sometimes you have to be selfish and put yourself before anyone else. Ignore what society is urging you to do.

 

I’ve been using Microsoft’s operating system(s) on various computers since version 3.11 of Windows. Each new version brought some improvements, some new features, some limitations, and some new bugs. I learned to live with all things Windows – after all, this is just an operating system.

I fully understand that Microsoft’s developers are really proud of their work, and that they truly believe that Windows (in any version) is the world’s best operating system, and that everybody should love it. What I don’t understand, though, is why they keep pushing their latest flavor of Windows – number 10 – so aggressively. Or, maybe, I probably do understand – it must be to Microsoft’s benefit somehow, or else they wouldn’t do it.

I personally own an antique PC tower still fully functional with Windows 98, a laptop running Windows XP, a netbook on Windows 7 Professional 32-bit, a desktop PC operated by Windows 7 Home 64-bit, and a Surface Pro with Windows 8.1 on it. All these machines are mine. I bought them. I run licensed copies of Windows on them. I keep all these machines updated, well maintained, running smoothly, free of malware.

So, please, Microsoft, get off of me! I really don’t want to install Windows 10 on any of my devices. If I wanted Windows 10 on anything, I would know where to go and get it. I wouldn’t even mind paying for it. You can really stop bugging me now, because it gets old after a while. You might have realized by now, that I found out what to watch for and how to make sure your nagware doesn’t accidentally make it onto my hard-drives, hiding behind a long list of “important” updates with inconspicuous KB……..-numbers.

By the way, I may eventually buy another PC, laptop, or tablet – and if it came with Windows 10 installed, I wouldn’t mind. That would be when I want it, though, not when you want it.

As a software developer I’ve had to make that decision many times – is it better to simply make what you need, or should you look to buy existing solutions? I personally like the feeling of power that I get from being self-sufficient, so I tend to lean towards “make your own”. From the business perspective, though, I agree that re-inventing the wheel is a waste of resources.

If you decide that buying is in your best financial interest, your search for solutions may not render the desired results – which is when you should be prepared to make what solves your problem, and take pride in your own creativity.

That’s why I invented the
                                       

I tried to find a pouch for my new “big” smart-phone that would meet all my requirements:

• is made out of genuine leather
• has a belt-clip
• doesn’t come off when I bend over
• doesn’t bruise my thigh when I sit down
• won’t make me look fat
• fits my Nexus 5X with a shock-proof case on it
• comes in whatever colour I want
• isn’t made in China

After hours of futile search in stores and online I had to resort to my own inventive talent. A local leather craft store came in handy with materials, tools, and great advice.

It took some prototyping, improving my design pattern and manufacturing technique, trying different variations, until the final product was ready to go public. I’ve made five of those by now, two for myself and three for family.

You can order yours here:
Get Your ExxoPok

Between 6:00 p.m. and 8:00 p.m. on Halloween lots of people in costumes, mostly younger children with their parents, tour our neighborhood to ask for candy.

They speak the magic formula “trick or treat”, and I offer the bowl with candy saying “take one, whatever you like”. Their answer is supposed to be “thank you”, then we wish each other “Happy Halloween”; after that they walk to the next house. Business as usual.

This time, however, one approximately seven-year-old girl, dressed up as a purple princess, came with a group of kids and replied to my “take one, whatever you like” with a frown and a “what, only one??”. I was slightly amused, so I said “well, then what is the trick you are now going to play on me?”

The look of utter confusion on that little face was priceless!